Tuesday Without Rain (Finally)

Eleanor Wood

me

The Nonist

EbenKling

me

How marvelous is that collage from Eleanor Wood?

I made the last picture for my sweetheart (the hippie-haired centaur) for our second anniversary many moons ago. I tried to salvage what I could from four years of high school French classes, but I probably botched it, but it's okay because I suspect that between the two of us, I paid way more attention in class. Please pardon the sneaky cat hairs on the frame, which was made by wrapping a thrifted wooden frame with faux suede and then gluing on lace strips. The image was inspired by an old illustration I found in a Dutch Graphic Design book from the 60s. It all turned out way better that I was expecting (note: I always set out with low expectations so I'm always pleasantly surprised) and the faces made me happy. He loved it, of course. If it wasn't out on display it was stowed safely away with his few "special" mementos.

Then I ripped it up after a fight last year and was immediately the world's silliest asshole. Has anyone else ever done something that ridiculous and awful and shameful?

After we calmed down, we picked up all the pieces. I just haven't had the heart to put it back together.

friday with rain

"Strange" and "sad" sum up my headspace this week. This year. Every year? I just don't think the rest of it means anything without the bittersweet, mind-bending, heart-aching parts. Some people focus more on it, the strange & the sad, and that's just fine. I just wish I were as adept -- adept as say, Rozz Williams, brilliant dark magickman -- at channeling said brainwaves into something helpful. Helpful as in, a psychic hand-holding with other beautifully melancholic minds. Music, images, words, the results of creative transformations nothing short of magick. I like them. Others like them. It's the beauty of being human, seeing, feeling, thinking, appreciating the thoughts, sights, and feelings of others. Why? What's it all for? The infinite unknown? I don't know. And around we go.

My brain is constipated. Bloated, churning gassy, painfully unproductive. Sigh. Brainfart. Sigh.

possibly disturbing thoughts ahead

You know what absolutely breaks my heart?

That we're living in a patriarchal hegemony, one that fetishizes sleazy sex and rape.

I browse this particular site for movie recommendations of the cheesy, horrific wtf? variety, and usually I'm scanning over lots of Eurosleaze/pornsploitation crap, but this time I happened to catch a glimpse of a Japanese series of movies about -- yeah, you got it, rape. Pure and simple. I've known this stuff existed. And look at today's headlines, it's hard to ignore that it's been a common element of human civilization since genitals were invented. But, um. I almost threw-up. There are positive comments about this film series (from men, I'm totally comfortable assuming) and it's disgusting and it just overwhelmed me that THIS is what pleases many people.

And we're in a patriarchal system. Have been for... well, let's just say it almost doesn't even matter. Pinpointing the switchover would involve discussions of religion and I shouldn't go out of my way to offend the theoretical handful of people who may actually read this. Nevertheless, we are living in a patriarchy that's rewarded the achievements of men for millenia.

And why are so many of these achievements so violent and disturbing in nature? Honestly? Rape-based PORN (fer chrissakes, isn't most porn exploitational enough?) and videogames (yeah, Google it). Rape as exultation in competitions ("I'm gonna rape you, faggot/you got raped!"). Rape as accepted sex act for many misogynistic cultures 'round the world. Rape as daily occurrence for victims of war-torn countries.

Whatever progress is made is continually retracted by the slightest things, such as your son telling his gaming partner that he got raped. By their dueling digital avatars. How does that even make sense?

What could possibly save us from ourselves? Education? Since when has educating the public affected visceral change in individual hearts?

I have no solutions, only a heart-sickness that will follow me to my grave, I'm sure.

Thanks for reading this. Sorry if it hurt you as well.

Oh, and here's a brilliant article from Naomi Wolf about the sad, pervasive effects of porn culture and a transcription of a powerful speech from Rebecca Whisnant. I believe as sex has become less potent and more exploitative, that invoking rape has become less troublesome.
'As Robin Morgan famously put it in 1974, “Pornography is the theory, and rape is the practice.”' Again, I'm gonna blame supporters and blind participants of our patriarchy (particularly men) for this awful, insane mess.

teensy update

I'm feeling good. People are supporting my strange (and sort of malnourished) little shop, my bearded partner and I aren't stressing each other out as much, we found a sandy-grey tabby kitten next door in the overgrown lot, hiding beneath a smashed car, we just got some sushi from Whole Foods, and we spent the day ransacking Philly Aids Thrift (PATS) for the ugliest Christmas sweaters we could find. As I type, we're listening to Little Richard & Jimi Hendrix's AMAZING record, Together.

If anyone who's made a purchase recently is reading this: thank you to infinity and beyond, you are making my dreams into realities, and I appreciate it more than a non-physical blog entry can say.

The Christmas sweaters, btw, are for our Halloween costumes. Oversized Christmas sweaters, classy red turtlenecks, and bright, tight red & green pants equal an amazing vision. Once we have some fake presents, fake blood and blue face-grease, we'll be set. Yeah, I think the idea is that the holiday shopping season turns people into zombies. Eh? Zombies are a bit too weirdly trendy considering their social commentary, but this just feels right.

Happy -- what day is this? Okay, Wednesday. Happy Wednesday to anyone (anyone?) who's reading this. I hope you don't regret spending these few minutes here.

on my mind

Matthias Grünewald - The Temptation of St. Anthony
Matthias Grünewald - Temptation of St. Anthony (close)
Peter Max - Outer Space

Sweet Beasts

Colored pencil, pen, acrylic on watercolor paper

I've been a doodler ("artist") since forever, but I've always struggled to capture my ideas on paper. It's a common struggle, often satisfying, occasionally grounds for depression, but nothing short of human magick, when the feat's been realized. That's why I'm so thrilled about these new creatures that have been appearing, they're small but so perfect (in my brain). It's like: "Oh, you're just how I imagined you!" with an immediate burst of fondness.

a must-have

Oh man, I could've really used this, like, twelve years ago. Edit: Oh, I found this on Amazon.com; it's only been within the past few years that Labyrinth's gotten its exploitativepast due line of Ludo plushes and Jareth figures and this -- the official Jareth pendant.

Updates

Updating the shop with free shipping offers and new original illustrations. Check it out at Fantastic Beasts.

Oh, Dear

Ray Fenwick (via booooooom)

My new forever favorite.

Oh My Heart

I'm really liking this site.

Erika Somogyi